This post comes from a very special place and since we are talking about solar plexus this week I thought it was perfect timing. I was contacted a few days ago by a dear old friend, Meribeth. Nothing makes you feel old like thinking about highschool, right. Meribeth, whether she will admit it or not, was "the pretty girl" in high school. I was more of a tall, lanky, space alien, but at one point for a few years we were stuck to each other. From the outside to most she was the "it girl" that had it all. Beauty, brains and what seemed like the perfect loving and supportive family. I think most kids envied her, and although she was beautiful I remember her being not so confident. I remember times when I told her "You know you should really stand up for yourself more." I remember the tears and insecurity she went through as most of us do at that age. Nobody judged Meribeth harder than Meribeth.
After a natural disaster my family moved and I lost touch with my buddy for many years. Through Facebook we have reconnected, rekindled and remained friends. She's someone who makes me giggle everytime I think of her. There was a time when I felt like no one understood me like she did. She loved with an intensity that I recognized in myself. We did so many good thing and bad things together and I always wished the best for her in life and hoped our journeys would lead us at least on parallel roads. This week she sent me this to share with you guys and it truly touched my heart. I've always been a relatively confident person or at least it appeared that way. This past year I've been digging deeper and deeper into into self-love, self-care and self-acceptance. It's been a beautiful journey so far and I've discovered shadows that I didn't know were there, but I've also discovered that I'm not alone. We find and lose so many people in life but sometimes on our journeys we look up and see a familiar face.
"I pulled out of nursing school when I realized I did not want to surround myself in a sterile sick environment and work under the thumb of a system I feel is driven by unfairness and greed, even though I do love to help those who are in need. I pulled the plug in all the areas needed for that. I felt charged, free and liberated after making that decision.
Then I started taking art classes. Began to unlearn messages I had told myself about not being creative "enough" to actually be an artist. It was quite an emotional process trying to come into my own creativity and feel secure about allowing my art to be exactly what it is and nothing else. Then I felt a drumming to become a figure model at my art school. Dropping all judgements, insecurities, shame around my body, and perfectionism was quite the task. I was terrified and extremely nervous my first time. But the moment I dropped my robe, I invoked a confidence and self love that was a new experience. It was so healing to be in an environment where being naked was so supported and normal. I grew up in a home where nudity was shamed and awkward. It felt so good to not hold my stomach in or worry about my cellulite. I learned to be comfortable in my own skin...literally.
This has now become a second job and I hope to do this into old age while lovingly accepting my aging body as imperfectly perfect and beautiful. Who knew doing something like this would make me feel so brave and empowered. I am so proud of what you have become Chelcie. I watch your travels from afar and I love the message you bring. "- Meribeth